A Time for Reflection

As we draw closer to the end of 2013, reflection has been a recurring theme for me. I’ve been taking time each day to look at where I was when 2013 began and where I am now. While some areas have remained the same, others have changed drastically and not necessarily for the better. For example, my work out routine (which I loved) has been reduced to one day per week due to schedule changes at work, and I am noticing the difference. I realize that I need to change my outlook on my work outs. I can no longer depend on zumba to keep me moving, I can’t get to the evening classes I once frequented. My plan is to do add some resistance training into my schedule in the morning before work and look at my Sunday afternoon zumba class as a treat!

An area that has remained the same for me is my job. I am very thankful to be gainfully employed, but I thought that prior to the two year mark, I would have been able to have secured a different position by now. Initially this looks like it could be a negative, but as I see it, it’s helping me. Because I can’t see myself as a “lifer” in my current role, I believe I am being narrowly guided by my circumstances towards pursuing my purpose and passion. I am in the process of venturing into the world of entrepreneurship and I know that if I had gotten any of the numerous internal positions I had applied for, I would have been distracted and led off my path.

Take some time and reflect on the positive strides you’ve taken. Acknowledge your areas of opportunity and create a plan to make the changes necessary to improve in those areas. Don’t beat yourself about not being further along or where you thought you’d be. There is a reason for you being exactly where you are right now. The hard part is figuring out that reason, what lesson you are supposed to be learning from this experience. Once you think you have an idea of what that is, you can begin to do the work needed to move on to the next chapter.

I will end this year’s final blog post with a quote from Zig Ziglar.

“Sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to become successful.”

Thanking the universe for my adversity!

Merry Christmas!

Is There A Job You Won't Take?

This is a touchy subject that can have so many variables and layers and couldn’t possibly be summed up easily. The response to this question will and should vary depending on each individual’s situation. The main factor that can come into play for me was how long I had been unemployed. During different points in my unemployment I thought to myself, “Ok, at what point do I start applying for jobs that I would normally not consider?” Is there a time frame? Do I wait until my unemployment compensation runs out?

Regardless of my education and experience, in my mind, some money is better than no money. So, if the unemployment benefits had run out, I would have probably accepted any legal job that was offered to me. I have to provide shelter, food and clothing for my child and if that means working at McDonald’s until I can find something else, so be it. I am not of the opinion that any job is beneath me. Does it mean I would be content? No. But I would gladly cook some fries or clean toilets if it meant I could keep a roof over our heads and food in our mouths.

My current job is not exactly where I want to be, but it is a foot in the door at a large financial institution. After a bad experience in banking during college, I said I’d never go back to banking. The phrase, “never say never” couldn’t ring any more true. I’m currently in customer service in a call center. Not where I saw myself after completing my MBA a few years back, but this is where I ended up, and I am thankful for it. I’ve had better jobs and I’ve had worse jobs. I am very thankful that I am now gainfully employed and don’t hate what I do. I have the opportunity to meet new people each day, which could lead to my next role.

I am also thankful that this opportunity presented itself pretty late in my road down unemployment. Had I been only six months in, I might have tried to pass on this. This job has taught me a lot about myself. It led to clarity on my purpose and keeps me striving towards bringing that to fruition. So, if you are at a place where you need to work, but the ideal opportunity has not presented itself, consider doing something you wouldn’t normally do. You never know where it might take you.

I’ll end with one of my favorite quotes; it helps to remind me that I am exactly where I am meant to be.

“Sooner or later, something seems to call us onto a particular path- this is what I must do, this is who I am.” ~ James Hillman

Gratitude

Earlier this week I read an article from the New York Times, “Caught in a Revolving Door of Unemployment.” My first reaction to reading the article was to cry. The first person highlighted in this article was a 53 year old college graduate who had worked for 30 years. Since being laid off in 2008, she has yet to find full-time work, in any capacity. McDonald’s turned her down for being too articulate; she couldn’t get work at a laundry mat because she was too pretty. The more I read, the sadder I got. I cried for her, I cried for me.

My next reaction was anger. She had seemingly done all the “right” things, but has still ended up chronically unemployed and homeless. It made me upset to recall these same feelings of helplessness I know she is feeling. To know that you have sent out thousands of resumes and still have no job can be infuriating, but you can’t let it suck you in. Acknowledge those feelings, redirect those emotions and keep it moving.

As I read the article again, my anger shifted to gratitude. I was thankful for my experience, thankful for my current job, thankful for discovering my purpose and passion and for the courage to begin working towards fulfilling my purpose. The article mentioned that she’d had two interviews, but neither panned out. I imagine this was yet another disappointment; she didn’t let it beat her. She’s using her negative experiences to reinvent her life. She’s now making plans to start a public access cable show.

I can’t help but come back to gratitude. Had it not been for my stint of unemployment, many of my current perspectives would be totally different. I don’t think I would be as grateful as I am for my current job. Is it perfect? No. Does it pay the bills? Sometimes. Am I glad to have it? YES!!! I am also thankful for my unemployment because it led me down a path that brought me to the realization of my purpose. Before that, I was floundering, living just for me and my family. I now know that that was not the purpose for my life. I am meant to help people and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. My final reason I am thankful for my unemployment is that I also came to the realization that my job and my purpose don’t have to be the same, they can co-exist. Of course I’d like to get paid to follow my purpose and one day that might happen. For today, I am happy to have a job that doesn’t rob me of my energy and motivation, so that I can work on fulfilling my purpose.

The trials and tribulations that we face are inevitable. As long as we have breath, there is the potential for life to change our plans. I will gladly take these changes, it means I have breath, and I am thankful for that too!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Unemployment and the "H" word

The Holidays are just around the corner and you are unemployed. How do you cope? How do you spend time with family and friends and not worry about your situation?

I can honestly tell you that you just have to do it. You have to just show up and be present. The holidays are not just about giving gifts. These times are also about just connecting with the ones we love.

As a divorced parent of one, I know all too well the pressures and expectations that can come along with the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. What I also know is that ultimately, I control these expectations. It’s up to me to determine what Thanksgiving and Christmas mean in my house.

Thanksgiving is just that, a time to reflect and be thankful for what we have. During my longest bout of unemployment, I stumbled upon a way to improve upon how I was looking at my situation. I learned about making a “Happy and Grateful” statement. I actually made a list, a list of things that I wanted for my life, but had yet to achieve. I read this list aloud daily and before each statement spoke the phrase, “I am happy and grateful for “, then read the statement. At the 6 month mark, I realized that even though I was not employed, I was truly happy and grateful for the majority of the things on my list. The gratitude for these things that I had placed in the universe brought them to me, even without a job. So my suggestion to you, make a Happy and Grateful statement or list. Read it aloud daily and watch where it takes you.

Christmas… I love Christmas. And it has nothing to do with the gifts. My family likes to gather and literally, “eat, drink and be merry”. There are parties and meals almost daily from Christmas Eve until New Year’s Day. While I was unemployed I could have easily let this be intimidating to me, feeling like because I couldn’t contribute as I had in previous years or as I wanted, that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy these times. I would have missed out on some amazing family moments had I let my unemployment and lack of funds keep me from celebrating Christmas with my family and friends. I was very transparent with all of my family about my financial situation, and they placed no expectations on me in terms of participating in gift exchanges and what not. Some even helped pick up the slack in helping me buy gifts for my daughter. I am so blessed to have child who enjoys giving as much as she enjoys receiving. While she is young, I thought it was important for her to know and understand that we did not have extra money, but we will always have what we need. And that having family and friends around to support and love you in times of need is more valuable than ANY gift you buy in ANY store.

So, as we come upon the holidays, don’t feel bad about your situation. Don’t go into hiding. Hang out with your family and friends. Be thankful for what you do have, more than likely there is someone whose situation is worse than yours. Go eat, drink and be merry!

What To Do When You're Unemployed

I’m not going to address the obvious here. It should be a given that the majority of your day should be spent looking and applying for jobs and networking. Let’s focus on how to help deal with the emotional/mental effects of unemployment.

Since you may have a little extra time on your hands, now might be a good time to start doing some of the things you like to do, but normally don’t have time. During my unemployment I spent many, many hours at the computer looking for opportunities that I thought were interesting and then revising my resume to match that job. Sometimes I would get the point where I couldn’t stand the thought of getting on another website to look for work. The thought of even more rejection was just too much at times.

I decided that I was going to start doing some things that I really liked when I needed a break or just to get my mind off of my situation. I LOVE to read so I would grab a new or good old book on the days when I felt it was all going to come crashing down on me. I would let the story take me off the couch in my family room and I would be right there in the middle of whatever story I was reading.

 I was fortunate that I also found a new favorite past time, dance fitness classes! Prior to this, I had never been all that into exercise, but it has helped physically and mentally. This new found love also improved my social life. By nature I’m not overly friendly, but always say hello. After a few years of taking classes with a core group of ladies, I have made some amazing friends; some are very dear to me now. I am so thankful for this much unexpected perk of unemployment.

I challenge you to do some of the things you like to do or have always wanted to do. If you’ve always wanted to write a book, now is the time to try it. If you’ve always wanted to learn how to cook, get to the library, get some books and DVD’s and get cooking. Am I saying neglect your job hunt? Absolutely NOT! But realize that you won’t always have this extra time, you will go back to work and you’ll wish you had spent a little more time on some of your favorite past times.

Until next time!

The Beginning

Unemployment is a subject that is near and dear to my heart. Since 2008, I've found myself in that position for nearly 2 years. Once for 6 months and a second time for 14 months. The 6 month stretch was the hardest on me, probably because I was totally unprepared.

Just to give a little background, I had worked for a large health care organization in the area for 7 years, completed grad school with an MBA and was ready for a new challenge. However, the organization I was with just wasn't cooperating with my vision. So, I started looking for opportunities elsewhere, and thought I had found it. I had always wanted to get into human resources, and found a postion as a Staffing Manager with an employment service that placed medical and legal professionals. By then I had 8 years of medical experience and contacts, I couldn't have asked for a  better opportunity! I shadowed the Operations Manager, asked all the right questions and ultimately accepted the position when it was offered.

About a month into the position, some of the responsibilities that were discussed during the interview process were not coming along as promised and I realized that I was  glorified telemarketer. The opportunity to build the business through personal connection was only allowed via telephone, getting out in the community and networking was not an option. I addressed this with the Operations Manager and a week or so later, I was coming in(from an interview) and had a voicemail that I didn't need to come in, that I was being fired! I was devastated, I had never been fired. I had left an 8 year employer, all to be fired, for voicing my concerns. So, I used some of my contacts and worked part-time in a doctor's office and collected unemployment while I looked for work.

Not knowing how to manage that stress literally made me sick and I ended up in the hospital. I ended up getting a two year contract with the government. Once that ended, I found myself once again unemployed, only this time it was in the middle of the recession, jobs were scarce and unemployment was high. This time I had a plan to keep myself sane and healthy.

I am by no means a licensed therapist, counselor or HR professional. What I am is a person who has struggled with unemployment and still deal with the effects of that unemployment. I am a person that understands the thoughts, self-doubt and larger than life questions that can plague you during this difficult time. I am a person that wants to share what helped me make it through. I am a person...