Unemployment and the "H" word

The Holidays are just around the corner and you are unemployed. How do you cope? How do you spend time with family and friends and not worry about your situation?

I can honestly tell you that you just have to do it. You have to just show up and be present. The holidays are not just about giving gifts. These times are also about just connecting with the ones we love.

As a divorced parent of one, I know all too well the pressures and expectations that can come along with the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. What I also know is that ultimately, I control these expectations. It’s up to me to determine what Thanksgiving and Christmas mean in my house.

Thanksgiving is just that, a time to reflect and be thankful for what we have. During my longest bout of unemployment, I stumbled upon a way to improve upon how I was looking at my situation. I learned about making a “Happy and Grateful” statement. I actually made a list, a list of things that I wanted for my life, but had yet to achieve. I read this list aloud daily and before each statement spoke the phrase, “I am happy and grateful for “, then read the statement. At the 6 month mark, I realized that even though I was not employed, I was truly happy and grateful for the majority of the things on my list. The gratitude for these things that I had placed in the universe brought them to me, even without a job. So my suggestion to you, make a Happy and Grateful statement or list. Read it aloud daily and watch where it takes you.

Christmas… I love Christmas. And it has nothing to do with the gifts. My family likes to gather and literally, “eat, drink and be merry”. There are parties and meals almost daily from Christmas Eve until New Year’s Day. While I was unemployed I could have easily let this be intimidating to me, feeling like because I couldn’t contribute as I had in previous years or as I wanted, that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy these times. I would have missed out on some amazing family moments had I let my unemployment and lack of funds keep me from celebrating Christmas with my family and friends. I was very transparent with all of my family about my financial situation, and they placed no expectations on me in terms of participating in gift exchanges and what not. Some even helped pick up the slack in helping me buy gifts for my daughter. I am so blessed to have child who enjoys giving as much as she enjoys receiving. While she is young, I thought it was important for her to know and understand that we did not have extra money, but we will always have what we need. And that having family and friends around to support and love you in times of need is more valuable than ANY gift you buy in ANY store.

So, as we come upon the holidays, don’t feel bad about your situation. Don’t go into hiding. Hang out with your family and friends. Be thankful for what you do have, more than likely there is someone whose situation is worse than yours. Go eat, drink and be merry!