Gratitude

Earlier this week I read an article from the New York Times, “Caught in a Revolving Door of Unemployment.” My first reaction to reading the article was to cry. The first person highlighted in this article was a 53 year old college graduate who had worked for 30 years. Since being laid off in 2008, she has yet to find full-time work, in any capacity. McDonald’s turned her down for being too articulate; she couldn’t get work at a laundry mat because she was too pretty. The more I read, the sadder I got. I cried for her, I cried for me.

My next reaction was anger. She had seemingly done all the “right” things, but has still ended up chronically unemployed and homeless. It made me upset to recall these same feelings of helplessness I know she is feeling. To know that you have sent out thousands of resumes and still have no job can be infuriating, but you can’t let it suck you in. Acknowledge those feelings, redirect those emotions and keep it moving.

As I read the article again, my anger shifted to gratitude. I was thankful for my experience, thankful for my current job, thankful for discovering my purpose and passion and for the courage to begin working towards fulfilling my purpose. The article mentioned that she’d had two interviews, but neither panned out. I imagine this was yet another disappointment; she didn’t let it beat her. She’s using her negative experiences to reinvent her life. She’s now making plans to start a public access cable show.

I can’t help but come back to gratitude. Had it not been for my stint of unemployment, many of my current perspectives would be totally different. I don’t think I would be as grateful as I am for my current job. Is it perfect? No. Does it pay the bills? Sometimes. Am I glad to have it? YES!!! I am also thankful for my unemployment because it led me down a path that brought me to the realization of my purpose. Before that, I was floundering, living just for me and my family. I now know that that was not the purpose for my life. I am meant to help people and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. My final reason I am thankful for my unemployment is that I also came to the realization that my job and my purpose don’t have to be the same, they can co-exist. Of course I’d like to get paid to follow my purpose and one day that might happen. For today, I am happy to have a job that doesn’t rob me of my energy and motivation, so that I can work on fulfilling my purpose.

The trials and tribulations that we face are inevitable. As long as we have breath, there is the potential for life to change our plans. I will gladly take these changes, it means I have breath, and I am thankful for that too!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Unemployment and the "H" word

The Holidays are just around the corner and you are unemployed. How do you cope? How do you spend time with family and friends and not worry about your situation?

I can honestly tell you that you just have to do it. You have to just show up and be present. The holidays are not just about giving gifts. These times are also about just connecting with the ones we love.

As a divorced parent of one, I know all too well the pressures and expectations that can come along with the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. What I also know is that ultimately, I control these expectations. It’s up to me to determine what Thanksgiving and Christmas mean in my house.

Thanksgiving is just that, a time to reflect and be thankful for what we have. During my longest bout of unemployment, I stumbled upon a way to improve upon how I was looking at my situation. I learned about making a “Happy and Grateful” statement. I actually made a list, a list of things that I wanted for my life, but had yet to achieve. I read this list aloud daily and before each statement spoke the phrase, “I am happy and grateful for “, then read the statement. At the 6 month mark, I realized that even though I was not employed, I was truly happy and grateful for the majority of the things on my list. The gratitude for these things that I had placed in the universe brought them to me, even without a job. So my suggestion to you, make a Happy and Grateful statement or list. Read it aloud daily and watch where it takes you.

Christmas… I love Christmas. And it has nothing to do with the gifts. My family likes to gather and literally, “eat, drink and be merry”. There are parties and meals almost daily from Christmas Eve until New Year’s Day. While I was unemployed I could have easily let this be intimidating to me, feeling like because I couldn’t contribute as I had in previous years or as I wanted, that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy these times. I would have missed out on some amazing family moments had I let my unemployment and lack of funds keep me from celebrating Christmas with my family and friends. I was very transparent with all of my family about my financial situation, and they placed no expectations on me in terms of participating in gift exchanges and what not. Some even helped pick up the slack in helping me buy gifts for my daughter. I am so blessed to have child who enjoys giving as much as she enjoys receiving. While she is young, I thought it was important for her to know and understand that we did not have extra money, but we will always have what we need. And that having family and friends around to support and love you in times of need is more valuable than ANY gift you buy in ANY store.

So, as we come upon the holidays, don’t feel bad about your situation. Don’t go into hiding. Hang out with your family and friends. Be thankful for what you do have, more than likely there is someone whose situation is worse than yours. Go eat, drink and be merry!